BIG Piggy Feet: Where To Find Large Shoe Sizes

Young Old Fart says...

Everyone has that ONE childhood memory (or in my case, several) that stick out in their mind as ridiculously embarassing. You know the one I am talking about. The one that is as clear in your head as if it happened yesterday, the one that when you think of it makes your cheeks burn red, the one that you really hope isn't the tale your parents choose to gleefully tell to your future spouse. Yeah, that one.

I am going to take you back 12 years or so, to a time when Brittany Spears was cool (not psycho), when Leo was everybody's dream hubby (thanks to Titanic), and when people actually conversed with one another face-to-face and not through *GASP* cellphones!

I woke up late for school and was rushing to get out the door. I already had my outfit set, so all that was left were sneakers. Murphy's Law be it that I could only find one and not the other. I spent minutes (which when you're late for school is an eternity) looking for my shoe's partner. Finally, I spotted it, my right-sided plain white sneaker. Perfect...or so I thought. Later in my school day, during recess (because all really embarassing school moments occur at recess), I was starting to wonder why everyone kept looking at me strangely. Was my zipper down? No. Did I have a booger in my nose? Nope. Then, a dear friend (as in somebody who I detested immensely), came up to me, pointed to my feet and said "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOUR FEET? DO YOU HAVE SOME DISEASE?" I looked down in confusion, my left foot seemed perfectly fine. Then, I looked over to my right. To my horror it was two sizes larger then its accomplice; I was wearing one of my shoes and one of my mom's. Needless to say, it took me years to get over the trauma (I still constantly check my feet to make sure I am wearing matching shoes).

So, the real question here is how did a first grader have a shoe only two sizes smaller than her mom's? What can I say? I have ENORMOUS feet, a size 12 to be exact. Thus, it's not surprising that I have a heck of a time finding tents for my meaty buddies (you might remember my painful shopping experiences from a previous post). Without further adieu, here is my advice for all my big-footed sistas!

• Buy men's sneakers. As long as the style doesn't scream "THIS IS SO A MAN'S SHOE!" then you're completely fine and no one will notice. Try unisex color combos like white/gray, white/navy, white/black, etc.
• Try Payless...it's one of the few places that sells a multitude of larger sizes in fashionable styles. HOWEVER, I highly suggest going in the store and trying them on, not just buying them online and crossing your fingers that they'll fit right. You also might want to try their free site-to-store shipping. Unfortunately, the past couple of times I've been there all of their shoes were quite uncomfortable (weird things rubbing my toes on the inside, too tight in the heel/not tight enough etc.).
• Surprisingly, Sears sells some brands that extend into the larger ranges. I found my everyday black flats there for the upcoming school year. I specifically recommend the SM New York brand.
• For all those other shoe styles that are unique and unlikely to be found in a store, I recommend BarefootTess.com. It's a website catered to sizes 11 and up. I recently bought rain boots from there and I get compliments on them all the time!
• If you find a shoe that fits just right, consider buying it in different colors. Those black flats I mentioned earlier? I went online intending to buy them in brown, but they didn't have them (boo!). However, they did have a zebra print...of course I purchased them, rawr!
• Finally, don't let the opposite sex make you feel inferior. In fact, a man would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend. First, large feet almost always equal good swimmers. Second, because a lot of shoes don't come in your size, you'll be less likely to pull a Carrie Bradshaw (i.e. obsess over shoes). Third, if he has a foot fetish, there is just THAT much more to love. And if all that isn't enough to convince a man to worship and adore you and your feet, just remember...these boots were made for STOMPIN'!

Kittens and fudge,

YOF